The Tekken PAINTING Tournament
by Jade Rotaski Queen of the Damned
Summary: Hey I'm back again! I updated! meant to be V humorus! Hope you like! Also will have dashes of Yaio! Enjoy! Chap 2 up (Finally) --;;
1. Default Chapter

This is probably going to be the craziest work I've done! This is what happens when you eat WAY too much chocolate in one go kids! Be warned this WILL have implied Yaoi. Flames will be laughed at then I will bitch back at you if it's lame! Otherwise please enjoy!  
  
The Tekken painting tournament  
  
Chapter one: Lee steals the Mona Lisa  
  
One day, Heihachi, being the evil git he is, decided to hold another tournament, but not any tournament, a Tekken PAINTING tournament! Only the best paintings will survive!!!  
  
*MFE building 110th floor Heihachi's office*  
  
Heihachi: All of the fig-err I mean painters will be arriving soon, but no one will beat me! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *Kazuya and Lee walk in*  
  
Kaz: What was that? Oh no I don't think so old man, you're going down in this tournament for sure! *Smirks* Just, you, wait...  
  
Lee: Ha no way! I'll beat you two this time! *Smirks smugly* Behold My first painting already finished! *Unveils portrait of the Mona Lisa* you like it?  
  
Kaz: what the? *I arrive*  
  
Me: Hi I'm Jade I- whoa! Wait a second what the HELL are you doing with that Lee??? *Points to the Mona Lisa*  
  
Lee: Err...*Scratches head nervously*  
  
Me: You stole it didn't you! *Lee looks sheepish* Lee you sneaky thief, that painting is priceless!  
  
Lee: Err, and your point is? *I roll my eyes in disbelief while Heihachi and Kazuya fall down Anime style*  
  
Me: Well Duh! It's stealing! And It's cheating you have to paint your own work dumbass! *Glares*  
  
Lee: *Crestfallen* But...Ah all right Jade! I'll paint my own picture then! *Mutters* Spoilsport.  
  
Me: Hey I heard that! *Smacks Lee over the head* I'm not a spoilsport I'm just abiding by the rules unlike you.  
  
Kaz: Ha, Ha! *Smirks at Lee who glares* I agree, but, Jade what are you going to do with that? *Motions to the Mona Lisa*   
  
H: It's priceless yes? Then it's mine! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... *Laughs his head off*  
  
TEN MINUTES LATER...  
  
H: ...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *Starts choking from lack of air* Ack! *Grabs throat*  
  
Me: *Me, Lee and Kaz have our ears plugged* has he stopped? ... Thank the gods for that! *Goes over and hits Hiehachi on the back* put a plug in it will you! *Stuffs Heihachi's mouth with blue tack, yes you read right BLUE TACK, I'd like to she him pick all of THAT out of his mouth! *   
  
Kaz: Err Jade you still haven't...you know...*Points to the Mona Lisa AGAIN*  
  
Me: Yeah okay I'll take it now before the cops come or something! *Push's Heihachi over and grabs the painting before rushing out the door*  
  
Hiehachi: *Picks himself up from the floor and tugs blue tack out of his mouth* I wanted that! Bitch! If only she didn't push me over! *Begins to cry like a big ass baby*  
  
Kaz: Oh dear god! He's blubbering! *Rolls eyes then backs away from Herihachi* I don't know him...  
  
Lee: Oh Jesus! I don't think I can take this! First he's laughing now he's crying? What's he been taking! *Shakes head* Wait...we could always shut him up... *Smiles suggestively to Kazuya*  
  
Kazuya: You know I think we should! You first, brother? *Grins*  
  
Lee: *Smirks* Why thank you! *Both proceed to whoop Heihachi's big fat pansy ass*  
  
*Hwoarang and Jin walk in*  
  
Hwo: I'm sure this is were we are supposed to-Oh looks like your screwed up family are arguing again J-Kazama.  
  
Jin: so I noticed, they never-wait a second, did you just call me Jin? *Looks suspicious*  
  
Hwo: No!... *Blushes*  
  
Lee: Hey look! *Stops kicking Heihachi's ass* The red head's blushing! *Snickers*  
  
Kaz: Yeah! Redder than his hair! *Sniggers along with Lee*  
  
H: *his face grows even redder* Shut up both of you! You little- (Sorry it WAY too rude to type kids!) DUMBASSES!!! *Pants heavily*  
  
Kaz & Lee: *Eyes wide open* Uhuh...  
  
Kaz: Jesus...he swears worse than you do Lee... *Both stand there rigid, eyes still wide*  
  
Jin: *Waves a hand over Lee and Kazuya's faces but gets no reaction* Hwoarang, you've zoned them out...*Smiles* Cool!  
  
H: Yeah I know I'm cool! I'm the best! *Does a victory pose by sitting on a semi unconscious Heihachi*  
  
H: grnnnhh!!! *Falls unconscious*  
  
J: *Mutters* You sure are.. *Cough* I mean you sure think you are but I won the third and fourth tournaments remember? *Smirks*  
  
H: Humph! *Fold arms* You just got lucky! But I'll beat you at this painting tournament that's for sure! *Smirks*  
  
Jin: *Rolls eyes while voice is dripping in sarcasm* Yeah, SURE you are! *Shakes head*  
  
H: You don't believe me? Well then my the best painter win! *give Jin his trademark smirk before turning and walking off out the door*  
  
Jin: *Shakes head* That guy... *Ling and Miharu arrive*  
  
Ling: Like hi Jinny! *Giggles*  
  
Jin: *Mutters* Oh dear god no! *Coughs* Uh hi Lin- *Breaks off as Ling jumps onto Jin's back hugging him*  
  
Ling: Jinny! You've entered the contest too! That's so cool! *Hugs Jin even tighter as he struggles to hold he weight* By the way thanks for sending me that e-E-mail warning me about the 4th tournament! *Looks at watch* Oops! Look at the time me and Miharu have to go to our art lesson now! 8jumps off Jin* Bye Jinny! *Ling waves before leaving, Miharu not far behind, a huge blush on her face*  
  
Jin: Huh??? *Scratches head* But I never sent he an E-mail...  
  
~*~  
  
Way hey! First chapter up! Thanks to my pal Sapphire 17 who told me a while back that I should try more humor, so here it is! PS Sorry about the last part! I know I sorta stole it of your fic, I hope you don't mind!  
  
Mia-chan: Yay! I'm in my happy fic! I'm in my happy fic! *Throws confetti*  
  
Cyn-Chan: Oh. Great another nice humorous fic *Shudders*  
  
Me: Meet my new muse! Cyn-Chan! The oh so angsty one!  
  
Cyn-Chan: No I'm not. I'm just Cursed...  
  
Me: *Rolls eyes* See what I mean?  
  
Mia-Chan: Oh come on Cynny! Were friends! *Hugs Cyn-Chan*  
  
Cyn-Chan:... *Blushes slightly*  
  
Me: well I hope you guys like it anyway and that you'll review! Most of all I hope you like it! Did you noticed the implied Yaoi pairings? I'm sure you guessed one at least! R+R Please! Luv you all! Bye!  
  
Mia-Chan: Bye!! *Waves happily*  
  
Cyn-Chan:... 


	2. Confusion and choas ensues!

'Hey! Hey! I'm back yes I finally had the time to update this thing! *Sigh* Christmas was hell...thought I DID get loads of pressies! Including the one and only SOUL CALIBUR 2!!! *Punches the air*  
  
Jen: Shut.Up.about.Soul.Calibur.2 NOW. *Vain throbs in temple*  
  
Me: *Evil grin* Ha! Ha! I've been bugging her with it all day, but not as much as...  
  
Mia-Chan: KILIK! OMG HE IS SOOOO HOT!!!! *Hugs Kilik Plushie* EEK!!!YUNGSUNG!!!! *Glomps Yungsung Plushie* CUTE BISHI'S!!!  
  
Me: *Sigh*...Mia-Chan she likes Yungsung! ^^ though I am pissed off at Namco for the fact that Yungsung is a crap(Ish) copy of Hwoarang....hmm maybe Yungsung is his great, great, great...  
  
10 MINUTES LATER...  
  
Me: ...Great grandfather! *Pants* you never know!  
  
Jen: *Glares* Get on with it!  
  
Alright! Alright! *Like Wakka* on with tha story ya?  
  
*2 months later, seriously it was I left it for so long -_-;;*  
  
Damn! Still haven't updated! Lol Oh well enjoy anyway XD!!!  
  
Part 2 Confusion and chaos ensues!  
  
*Eddy, Christie and Steve, sitting in the entrance hall of the MFE building*  
  
Eddy: When is Hiehachi gonna call us up Môn! I wanna start Paintin! *Cracks knuckles*  
  
Christie: Like, don't forget me! I'm like, your partner, after all it IS like, a team painting tournament in the first round! Your like, Stuck with me! *Eddy grins seductively at Christie, while Steve is trying to hold down his drink of water*  
  
Eddy: I know Mon! I know! *The two hold hands slyly, Eddy shrugs before they start making out*  
  
Steve: *Chokes* Oh god! *Coughs* will you two get a room please? *Gets ignored* I need to get out of here, I'll go the bar, and I need something stronger...  
  
*Meanwhile at the bar we have Lei and Bryan, Bryan bugging the hell out of poor Lei ^^*  
  
Lei: Bryan! Go away please! *Looks up at the ceiling* Why me Lord? Why me?  
  
Bryan: *Begins singing badly* COME ON BABY LIGHT MY *HIC* FIIIIIRRRRREEEEE! COME ON BABY LIGGGHHHTTTTT MY FIRE! GONNA *HIC* SET THE NIGHT ON FIII*HIC*RRREEEEEEEEEE!!!! *Slumps in his seat*  
  
Lei: *Vain throbbing on his temple* I'll set you on fire in a bloody minute! Just shut the hell up! Why! Oh why did I have to get paired up with you! Hiehachi must be laughing his ass off right now...  
  
Bryan: *Lifts his head with a seductive smirk on his face* Oh come on Lei dear *Hic*, you know you like it really... *Bryan puts his hand on Lei's thigh*  
  
Lei: EEEEEKKKKKK!!!! *Jumps off the stool and runs* HELP!!!  
  
Bryan: Come back here *Hic* Sex on legs! *Hic* your mine! *Chases after Lei, while banging in to several pieces of furniture, and runs past Steve who saw the whole thing*  
  
Steve: Jesus there ALL at it! What is this 'Find a sexy lover' day? *Groans* why can't I find a decent Gu-I mean *Sweatdrop* Girl to settle down with?  
  
~Coz your gay that's why~  
  
Steve: Who said that? *Looks around the empty bar*  
  
~It is I the all powerful Yaoi Authoress Jade Rotaski Queen of the Damned~  
  
Steve: *Sweatdrop* Oh shit. Not you...Hey wait a second! I am NOT Gay!  
  
~Yes you are~  
  
Steve: Am not! Say's who? *Glares at the ceiling*  
  
~Me of course! Duh! ~  
  
Steve: This is turning out to be a bad day...I so am not gay...  
  
~I'm your partner in the tournament too~  
  
Steve: *Eyes wide* Oh no...*Rubs his face* the world is against me, I know it...  
  
~Nope just me~ ^_^  
  
Steve: *Stares at face* what's the face for?  
  
~To show people I'm happy~ ^__^ or sad ;_; or evil :)  
  
Steve: *Rolls eyes* whatever...so do I get to meet you or are you just going to be a disembodied voice throughout the tournament?  
  
~Give me a second...~ *Loud popping sound and lots of blue smoke and I appear before you...in black pants a black and purple gothic spider web top and dyed black hair*  
  
Me: Ah being real feels good!! *Stretches*  
  
Steve: *Looks Horrified* Why you? Why do I have to be paired with you?  
  
Me: Well, lots of reasons really...well not lots but the reason is that everyone else is already paired up so you're stuck with me! Don't worry Foxy! I'll be nice I promise! *Fingers crossed behind my back*  
  
Steve: *Sigh* Okay I suppose it won't be too bad then...does Hiehachi know?  
  
Me: Err No; I think he's still tied up on the communication pole, where Lee and Kazuya left him...  
  
*Cut to Hiehachi tied to the communication pole*  
  
Hiehachi: HELP! I've been here for hours! Please? Somebody get me down? Anyone? I'll try and break free. *Fails* Curse me for letting my son go to those rope tying lessons when he was younger... *Pole begins bending and snaps* AHHHHHH.... *loses his balance and falls off the edge of the roof*  
  
*Cuts back to me and Steve*  
  
Me: *Snicker* Maybe not! *Hiehachi body whizzes past the window before splattering on the concrete*.  
  
Steve: *Winces* Ouch! That has GOTTA hurt! ...mind you he DID deserve it! *Grins*  
  
Me: Yep! Hiehachi sucks! ^^ I'm going to have to congratulate Kazuya and Lee for this one when I see them. *Smirks evilly* Anyway back to the competition... *Lei races past*  
  
Lei: HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!! *Runs off*  
  
Bryan's voice: Get *Hic* Back here!  
  
Me: What the hell??? *Scratches head* what the hell was that?  
  
Steve: Oh that? That was just Lei running from Bryan who is currently drunk and horny. *Shrugs*  
  
Me: What-? I never wrote that in the script! Hmm...This is serious...Lei/Bryan...Bryan/Lei, well there's only one person I can call for info on THIS couple!  
  
Steve: Oh who? *Looks confused*  
  
Me: Oh don't worry you'll see *Evil grin* Now where is her number... *Walks away Dialling a number on her mobile*  
  
Steve: Okay...That was weird... *Scratches his head and walks back to the bar*  
  
*Meanwhile at the pool, yes there a pool, Nina, Julia, Yoshimitsu and, King are relaxing by the pool*  
  
Julia: Ahhh this is the life, I'm sure glad that this is a painting tournament instead of a fighting tournament, I mean it does wear you down after a while...*Stretches and smiles* Okay! Who wants to go...SKINNY DIPPING!!  
  
Yoshimitsu: ...WTF??? *has no clue as to what skinny dipping is*  
  
King: Ragghhh?? *Just as clueless as Yoshimitsu*  
  
Nina: *Licks her lips* Never mind then Jules I'll come with you, you are my partner in the tournament after all!  
  
Julia: *Smiles Yeah, well let's go! *Both proceed to strip and go skinny dipping in the pool Yoshimitsu watching in horror, King in excitement*  
  
Yoshimitsu: AHHHHHH!!! MY EYES! MY POOR INNOCENT, UNTAINTED EYES! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! *Screams and runs away with his eyes covered, before slamming in to the wall of the building and knocking himself out*  
  
King: Yagroooo!!! ...Rah? *Looks around for Yoshimitsu, but find's he's alone and Yoshimitsu is unconscious* ...??? *Scratches his head, then shrugs, before continuing to stare at the two girls*  
  
Nina's thoughts: 'Damn Julia looks hot right now...'  
  
Nina: Hey Julia fancy a game of Blitzball? (So I stole it from FF10 I don't own it so don't bother tryin to sue me :P)  
  
Julia: You are SO on! I'll beat you this time for sure! *Start a mini game of Blitzball, King watching with interest on the sidelines*  
  
*The lie runs past screaming, so blinded by horror and shock he doesn't notice the pool* (How can he not? It's 20 ft wide! =D)  
  
Lei: Ahhhhhhhhh! *SPLASH* Graghhhhhhhhhhh! *This is the sound of Lei screaming underwater! XD*  
  
Julia: What the hell??? *Looks at Nina who shrugs and they carry on playing there game (Nina's winning)*  
  
Lei: *Looks at himself* AH shit! Now I'm soaked! *Ling and Miharu walk in*  
  
Ling: Hi Hi Lei!...Oh! What happened to you? *Lei hides behind Ling, which is impossible, because Lei is twice as big as her! XD*  
  
Lei: You guys have to help me! Bryan is trying to *Shudders* Molest me! *Bites his nails (Oh god I'm making Lei such a wimp! I LOVE it! XD*  
  
Ling: Well...*Ling and Miharu exchange a sly glance at one another* Okay but only if you *Leans in and whispers something into Lei's ear*  
  
Lei: *Pales* I HAVE TO DO WHAT!!!!! *Horror struck*  
  
Miharu: Oh go on Lei please! (Miharu finally gets a line in the script XD) *Miharu begins begging with puppy dog eyes*  
  
Lei: NO! *Crosses his arms* No fucking way!!!  
  
Ling: Please! You never know! You might like it! *Smiles as Lei blushes*  
  
Lei: *Shakes his head* N-... *Stops* did you hear that?  
  
Bryan's voice: Lei! *HIC* where are you *Hic* sexy!!! *Lei freezes in shock*  
  
Lei: *Turns to Ling* Okay! I'll do it! Just get me away from him!! *Ling grins and Grabs Lei's arm dragging him away upstairs to her room, while Miharu waits for Bryan*  
  
*Bryan stumbles lands next to Miharu*  
  
Miharu: Oh! Are you okay? *Helps Bryan to his feet*  
  
Bryan: Uh...*Hic*...Yeah...Hey! Have you seen...L...*Hic* Lei Wulong?  
  
Miharu: *Feigns a look of innocence* Lei Wulong? Hmm what does he look like? Tall? Chinese? Has tall hair? That Lei Wulong?  
  
Bryan *Licks his lips* Oh yes *Hic* DEFINALTY! So...you seen *Hic* him?  
  
Miharu: 8Looks thoughtful for a moment* Nope! But he has to be around somewhere! Try the rooftop balcony! I heard it has a great view! *Miharu walks off humming to herself (A:N: I'm sure she's a bit wacko that Miharu)  
  
Bryan: *Thinks* Hmm maybe he IS up there, well there's only one way to find out! *Gets the lift to the roof*  
  
Bryan: Hold on Lei! I'll get you yet! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *lift closes over his evil laugh*  
  
~*~  
  
Ha! Done it! Finally, *Sigh* I took my time huh? Oh well it's done now, so all is well! ^^ Okay I hope you like this chappie! Enjoy and please don't hesitate to R&R!!! 


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